Flirtation Bingeing, Hangovers, and the Dismal Season 7

Binge-watching

We've all done it. You find a show. A show that has 7+ seasons on Netflix. It's the best/worst day of your life. On the one hand, this show looks so amazing that knowing these seven seasons will fill your future makes you happier than a Hobbit before second breakfast. On the other hand, you know that any social life you have, any family that might want to talk to you about, you know, real life will suddenly find themselves wondering where you've gone. Because you will literally be hole up in your room during any spare time you can manage. You immerse yourself in the lives of these characters. You quote it constantly, get weird looks from people who don't understand why you are saying things like, "treat yo' self" and "Luke can waltz!" and "you have failed this city!" To them it doesn't make sense. To you, it's everything.

I'm about to connect this to dating. I can pretty much connect TV to any aspect of life but this one is not that far fetched. You know when you meet a cute new person that you actually have chemistry with? It's like a breath of fresh air because you've spent countless dates with random guys wondering if you honestly just have the weirdest personality on the planet and would get along with Whiskers the cat better than real humans. But alas, you have found someone that is attractive both in physical nature and personality. You spent 5+ hours with them and didn't get tired of them. What's more, they liked you too! In the words of the wise Tom Hanks in 'You've Got Mail', "I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you..." You honestly feel like this is your life.

So for a solid week, or month, you are in this excited adrenaline of bliss. Every free moment is spent on this person. Your friends know it because it's all you talk about. If you aren't talking about Adorable Man (or woman), give it a moment. This is how it goes...

Friend: I'm really tired!
You: Me too! I was up all night hanging out with Adorable Man

Friend: I'm so excited for this weekend!
You: Oh my gosh, I know. Adorable Man is taking me out! It's gonna be great!

Friend: I'm starting to get worried about the situation in the Middle East.
You: ... (says nothing) ...
Friend: ... (says nothing) ...
You: (decides it's been long enough to change the subject) So the other night I was hanging out with Adorable Man and he just grabbed my hand and left it there. I was freaking out! It was magical.

So this time period is what I'm going to label the binge-flirting stage. Like the shows we discussed earlier you are consumed by this new attraction. It's what you think about from the moment you wake up, seeing the cute smiley faced text, until you bid them farewell that night. This stage isn't likely to last long but you are clinging to it with everything you have because, let's face it, it's fun.

Flirtation Hangover

From the title of this stage you are probably thinking this stage hurts. I've never actually had an alcoholic hangover but from what I gather, they are not enjoyable. A Flirtation Hangover is not unenjoyable at all! Like a common hangover it occurs after the most fun part. After the endorphins are spent and a good number of dates together comes the Flirtation Hangover. Usually it begins after the physical barrier is broken. Maybe you are snuggled up with them, maybe you kissed them on the face, maybe you discussed some sort of title for your relationship. In any case you have fallen into a happy, relaxed state. You are not talking about them constantly anymore but when people ask you about it you are happy to relay how wonderful you feel about the whole thing.

I wish this stage lasted longer. You aren't losing sleep over them, you aren't trying to impress them. You like them and they like you and you are just being happy. I'd call it marriage but it's not quite that real. It's more like a content dream. It's like, nothing life throws at you is even going to hit you. You have escaped from the world and are living in this Flirtation Hangover.

Following our TV analogy, this is like season 2 or 3. It's usually the best season. It's the season where the director knows best what they are doing. You aren't quite bingeing with excitement, just binging because it's routine. You aren't pushing next episode on Netflix, you are just letting the autoplay do it's thing. Maybe you've heard this show gets pretty stupid later (Christopher and Lorelei season 6). Maybe you know it got cancelled way too early and only has 2 seasons (#pushingdaisies). It's not something you actively think about because you are enjoying the season you are in currently but it's in the back of your mind.

The Dismal Season 7

There is nothing worse in this world than watching a show that had so much potential and so many viewers ruin themselves. It's usually with some insanely ridiculous storyline like an evil Peter Pan. Sometimes it's because of a cast change up, like letting the most amazing independent female Israeli assassin Ziva David leave the show #neverforgotneverforgave. Sometimes they were all just in purgatory the entire time.... that one's the worst. You invested the time, you resistantly binge-watched through the rough season 5 because you had faith it would get better but you are left in season 7 with this terrible regret, like you just wasted the last few weeks. The show wasn't what you thought it was, it wasn't what you expected. You read the reviews but you didn't listen, figuring your tastes in TV shows were different than theirs. But like them you were disappointed. The worst part is that you invested all that time thinking the show was something it wasn't. And while the high of binge-watching was exciting and the hangover was comforting, the disappointment of an unfulfilling end makes you wonder if all that other stuff was even worth it. Sometimes you don't even finish the entire show because this season is so bad that you can't even muster up the motivation to keep watching. Why end it when you are not even sure if you like the show enough to do what needs to be done.

If you're struggling to figure out how to connect that to TV Shows just replace the sentiment of the show with the significant other.

The Last Episode

Most TV shows and relationships, even the bad ones, have a decent ending. It's not the ending you wanted when you started but with everything you've been through in the last month, you accept it's the best you're going to get. Ok, this is as far as I can take the analogy with both.

When a relationship, any relationship, ends you can't pretend it doesn't suck. You have, after all, invested some significant time and a more than significant amount of your heart. But by the end, most of the time you just want it to be over. After all the drama and unreturned texts and phone calls you are so done and just want it finalized. Depending on the other person the ending might be pretty anticlimactic. They might just send a text that says, "So, is it ok if we don't hang out as much anymore?" I mean, you're grateful they said something but it's not exactly what you wanted to hear. The opposite end of the spectrum is an open conversation over hot cocoa where you are able to analyze what didn't work and learn something. I like learning something so I know what we could have done differently. You don't always get this. Usually things are so messed up by the end, if there is a conversation it's just to get your Taylor Swift album back and officiate an ending.

When you watch the last episode of a terrible TV show you cry, not because you liked the show overall but because in those last 23-42 minutes you said goodbye to everything you fell in love with. No you didn't love every minute of the show but a director makes the last episode of a television show a tribute to the best of the show. They pull in all the stops: a lunch at Luke's Diner, a cameo by old cast members, maybe even a "That's what she said" by Michael Scott for the loyal fans. You cry, you laugh and when the final credits scroll you do feel closure. You feel clean and possibly watch some cheesy tribute videos on YouTube.



I'm not saying this always happens. I'm not saying bad relationships can't be fixed or good relationships don't fall apart. I'm not saying there aren't any great shows that last 7 seasons. I mean come on, West Wing, MacGyver, Little House on the Prairie, need I go on?! But for the shows that fall under this category; the shows that start good and end bad, the only thing you can do is wait. And then, after an amount of time that you can only decide . . . you slowly and carefully scroll down and place your cursor under "People who watched _____ also liked . . . " and away you go.