"I'm moving to Seattle."
"What?"
"Yup I start work in July."
"You? Seriously?"
"Yup!"
"I never thought you'd leave Alaska."
You may have thought the same thing. Emily Landeen loves Alaska. She loves her job, her friends, her hikes. You NEVER thought Emily would leave Alaska Yeah, neither did I...
But yeah, it's true. This is it. I'm leaving Alaska. Tomorrow, actually. I just looked out the window and the sun is setting on my last day in Alaska. I mean it's Alaska so it's setting very slow. It's 11:00 now so it'll be another hour before it's below the horizon easy. I've been here for 3 years and I'm leaving Alaska. It feels weird to say it honestly. For the last 3 years every blog post, every Instagram, every comment to friends and family have basically been why I live in and love Alaska. It's been what the latest adventure has been or what I've added to my Alaskan bucket list most recently. It's been me asking people to come visit me and planning trips for family. And now, I'm voluntarily choosing to move elsewhere. If I were someone else I'd probably slap myself. This post is really three fold. One, I just want to record some of my thoughts and feelings of my last night in Alaksa. Two, I want to share some of the best things that have happened to me in Alaska. Three, I want to answer to why question so that I can look back at it in the hard times that will come.
This is a picture of me the first day I came to Alaska.
Oh young Emily. You knew so little about the world. You posted pictures of what your bedroom looked like and got excited when looking at the trees outside your window. You had very little Instagram game and was ready to meet ALL those beautiful Alaskan men. You weren't sure what Alaska would be like or if you'd make any friends at all but you hoped at least a few people would pity you enough to say hi. Oh Emily, you had no idea.
I came for the job. It was sold to me as a job unlike any other in the country. You flew over mountains and forest fires and shot stories about unique people in arguably the most unique state in the US. All I wanted to do when I came here was travel. That was the point. I wanted to cruise around Alaska in small planes seeing this state. The first 6 months I had nothing. I worked so hard but there were people who had more experience and the reputation for delivering. It is hard to invest time and money in someone who hasn't proven herself yet. But eventually opportunities came. I could talk about Shageluk where I saw 100 Wood Bison being released into Rural Alaska. I could talk about my first local flight. It was to Valdez and I didn't think anything could look more beautiful than flying into that mountain range. I could talk about flying to the Aleutian chain. It took three hours, we flew over rivers, ocean, glaciers and volcanos and we didn't even leave the state. But I want to talk about Denali Base Camp. Mostly because I think it was the epitome of what I came to Alaska to do.
You have to say what you want. I learned that in Alaska. The quiet kid will never get a day off and never get the dream shoot. You have to speak up. Not annoyingly, but you have to ask for something in order to get it. I mentioned to a reporter, Bonney Bowman, that I'd love to do a trip to Denali Base Camp. That mountain had been something I adored since the first time I jumped into a car and drove to flattop at midnight to see the sun setting behind it. Before I got the job in Alaska I had seen others do stories up there and I wanted to feel that energy. I didn't want to hike Denali because I like oxygen and living but I wanted to see it. A few months later I found out I had an opportunity to go. The military in Alaska sets up base camp at the beginning of climbing season. They bring supplies up in Chinook Helicopters. Bonney asked if I could be the photojournalist. I was about to live one of my Alaskan dreams.
We flew out of Talkeetna. It was a beautiful clear day and the public relations team included Col. Brown. Bonney and I had worked with him before. His memory of us included us asking if we could sled down a hill at a military base. The answer was a very friendly no, in case you were wondering (we did it anyway shhh!). He was the public relations man we were working with. He could read my excitement from the beginning. We geared up and went to the chopper with all the media people. The best part was when they told us we could harness up and they would drop the back hatch so we could film outside the chopper. There is nothing worse for a photojournalist than filming out of a scratched up window and nothing better than knowing we could film beautiful mountain footage without a door in the way. There was also a bit of fear mixed in.
Chinooks are very steady but very loud. We all had earplugs in but the ride was otherwise very wonderful. When the time came I felt the carabiner attach to my harness and I walked towards the back of the aircraft. Adrenaline, fright, excitement, and about a dozen other feelings came all at once. I mean, how many normal humans have done this?! My legs were shaky so I took a knee and filmed as we swept across mountains. Perfectly white untouched mountains. There is a reverence to it. I was in awe. When we had landed and the earplugs came off things got even better. Walking outside was like staring at the sun. everything was so white everywhere. We had a sunny day so it was quite warm. We started walking around and got extremely warm. The sun beat off the snow and was warming us up quick. We delayered and asked what the temperature was. They said about 30 degrees. It felt like 70. The military, in their very military way, went straight to work and so did we. The story was pretty straight forward. The soldiers talked about how this training was really unique to Alaska and how they were excited to be a part of it. When we had wrapped it up we had a little time to enjoy the beauty around us. We took pictures and laughed and played in the snow. I played in the snow on the largest mountain in North America. How cool is that!?
When we arrived back in Talkeetna Col. Brown said every time he looked over at me on the plane I had the biggest smile on my face. I'm not surprised. My face reflected exactly what I was feeling inside. Pure joy. The purest and the realest joy I could have ever felt.
I've had many experiences like this. I've sat on a boat in Southeast Alaska watching whales feed. I've climbed mountains in the middle of the night because the sun wasn't setting, I've watched bears just feet away from me as they feed on Alaskan Salmon. I've stood under the Northern Lights and gone to work just hours later. Alaska has been good to me.
Now I'm trying to believe that all that goodness doesn't mean the next chapter of my life will be less good. I'm trying to beleive that I haven't peaked in Alaska at the ripe old age of 26. Tomorrow I leave for a new journey. A journey that has been my dream since I started this career. Ay Mamá What do you do when Your dreams come true? When you get an opportunity for something great but it means you have to leave something you love how do you do it?
Here's what I've come up with: I have a great life here in Alaska. I have friends and community. I have more than enough mountains for a lifetime and the job was amazing. But the unknown is also great. 3 years ago Emily didn't necessarily love climbing mountains. She had never dreamt of the Northern Lights. She didn't even know you could survive in 60 below nor shoot video in it. She didn't know much about the Iditarod or salmon fishing or glaciers. She had never seen a whale or a bear in the wild. 3 years ago Emily didn't know what she was missing in her life but 3 years later Emily can't imagine her life without those experiences.
So bring it on Seattle. Bring on the rain (TM Jo Dee Messina), bring on chasing waterfalls (TM TLC), and bring on McDreamys (TM Shonda Rimes). Mostly bring on all the things that in a year or two I wouldn't ever know I could live without. I've got nothing but learning and growing to do lets do it in a new place.
