Today was a good day. You may think this is because I nailed that still life depiction in Drawing 1 (can I draw a stool with a cone and potato on it? heck yeah) or maybe because it's 5:56 and I'm home from school for once in my life but it's not either of those. It's because I got to hear the drama of not one, not two, not three, but four good people's love lives today. I enjoy these moments so much! Some more than others depending on the person. But today I heard some quality stuff. After about the third person, my friend had overheard and awakened me of how much satisfaction I get out of these tales of love, passion, and at times sadness. I've begun to evaluate the why of this predicament and decided to share my findings. Here we go.
Even Stevens and Power Rangers. Louis and Tawny were great friends until they professed their love in the form of home video (do I plan to do this someday? yes) and I'm still sure that Jason (red ranger) and Kimberly (pink ranger) had a thing. They also worked together which brings me to the next thing I learned from TV. If you are forced to spend at least 4 out of the 7 days of the week together you are obviously getting married. Jim and Pam, Castle and Beckett, Tony and Ziva, I could honestly go on and on. I have learned how to seduce men through work relationships. Sometimes it's through favors like bringing them coffee everyday just to see a smile on their face. Other times it's through being able to talk all through work and then seeing Pam go home to her stupid fiance Roy who doesn't even appreciate her. Sometimes it's saving them from the deserts of Somalia (while I have never done this one specifically you get the metaphor). Any way you look at it, working together always leads to marriage, unless your Tobey. But why do I get so much satisfaction from these stories? I mean you've gotta be wondering, "Doesn't this girl have anything better to do with her day than listen to stories?Well technically it's what I do with my day as my aspirations are to become a Broadcast Journalist. I adore listening to stories. If those stories are about the people closest to me, even better. I especially love, love stories. If I listen to a story from a guy every day for a year and that ends in marriage it's like the best thing of my life! My good friend Katie and I made a Love Montage a couple years ago. Three and a half hours of the most heart-wrenching love stories from chick flick movies like Runaway Bride, to the classic action tv show '24'. I have watched this masterpiece probably about 20 times which means I have literally watched 70 hours of love. But besides that point I do it to learn and grow. If it's a cute guy I am talking to it's always a plus to know that (blank) is what cute guys look for in girls. I'm a single girl in my twenties after all. More than that it's just fun to get inside the male brain for a minute. It's like New York City: It's crowded and different and I don't care to live there but it's nice to visit and man if looking at it from the outside isn't gorgeous. If your a girl I don't really have that incentive. I do like my romantic partners like I like my letters: in male form. When giving advice to girls I love pushing the whole "strong independent woman" ideals. There is only one way to get over a guy who treated you like garbage. We've all peed on our share of men's yards haven't we girlfriends. If not give it a try, it's most satisfying.
I'd like to finish this up with showing how helpful I could have been to a few friends in the past if they had only let me help: Ahem . . .
Ok Brad now I know you did a little movie entitled: Mr. & Mrs. Smith and I know that was such a fun time with your lovely long-legged co-worker Anjolina Jolie. I get it I do but come on man. Think. After that skin goes wrinkly and that figure goes away all you're going to be left with are a couple black kids whose life will probably be made into a TV series like Tia and Tamera Mowry. Nobody wants that. What do you have now? You've got Jen. Jen loves you! She has done several roles with several extremely attractive men and she hasn't run off with them. She's a natural beauty and will age well. Her proportions may not be Laura Croft style but she will make you happy. Don't be stupid.
Hey there R-Patts, how ya doin? Now I know that they offered you this big role in the new Twilight film. I get it, I do. Money, actors, teenage fan-girls up the wazoo. But let me just warn you now brother, it is NOT gonna end well. This girl Kristen Stewart? She's got a dark secret that no one knows yet. It's burried deep in her death trap of a heart. Are you ready, here it is. . . she's boring. She literally has no interesting characteristics. Facial Expressions, nada. Her main talent is how many times she can blink her eyes. You can do better dude. Pass up this role, do some BBC; it's up and coming I promise.
So you're thinking of dating Miley Cyrus. Hm . . . never give her your address. Ok nuff said.
But probably the top reason we all console the men folk comes down to one simple reason: We all want what we can't have. What is more irresistible than a guy telling you his love life. It's the only time a guy is ok with being vulnerable. It's cute and shows they do have a heart past the whole football lovin, Chuck Norris watchin stuff men always talk about. You know he is not going to leave this girl for you and you probably wouldn't even want that. It's just fun to play with that idea that he sees you as something, even if that is no more than a friend. And yet you can still walk through the streets of London singing "On My Own" and then someday die in his arms (or maybe that was Les Mis, I get confused). They're nice, you want them to be happy and if that isn't with you, you might as well find a way to make yourself an asset to their life right? Another TV moment: How many times have we seen the consoling opposite sex friend who later marries the character? Um too often my friends, me too.
